May 2013
3 posts
Overheard at the Office
“So I talked to the labia— I mean I talked to the labia— I mean I talked to the LADY at the office…”
We need a word for...
That moment of panic when something shoots up your esophagus and you don’t know if it’s a burp or barf.
Overheard on the Bus
“In the dictionary under ‘inscrutable’ is a picture that may or may not be you. No one can tell.”
March 2013
2 posts
Thought for the Day
Why isn’t there a toilet manufacturer whose slogan is “#$&@ Happens. Buy a _________”?
We need a word for...
That feeling of being halfway through a book, which your friends and critics loved, and wondering when it will become good.
February 2013
5 posts
I'm am SO on board with COMMUNITY 2.0
danharmon:
okolivertrask:
Dan Harmon isn’t around to say stupid shit regularly and make me hate the show in different ways I hadn’t even imagined before
It’s not quality quality like COMMUNITY season 1 and 2, but it’s also not a sanctimonious self-indulgent mess like season 3.
It is just a fun cartoon-version of a once great show.
It’s like really good fanfiction. And I know that sounds like...
Overheard on the Street
“He doesn’t use his car when it snows.” Really?” “He takes his motorcycle.” “Why?!” “It has snowtires.”
Overheard at the Office
“Marriage is such an anchor in life.” “Heavy, awkward, covered in rust, takes you to the ocean floor to be entangled with rocks and the only way out is a high-powered winch?”
Overheard in Subway
“What kind of cheese do you want?”
“Mozzarella, please.”
“Is that the orange, yellow or really yellow?”
“It’s the mozzarella.”
“…”
“You work here, right?”
“But what colour is it?”
We need a word for...
Able-bodied people who, instead of just pushing open a door, hit the wheelchair button and wait for it to open on its own.
January 2013
5 posts
Wisdom for the Day
It’s “run the gamut”. “Run the gambit” means you are combining chess with jogging.
Overheard in the Elevator
“She said we should get together for drinks, but I couldn’t. So she invited me for pre-drinks. WHAT THE HELL ARE ‘PRE-DRINKS’?”
Wisdom for the Day
If you’re a subject matter expert, don’t snicker and giggle when the presenter uses a metaphor that isn’t 100% accurate to explain a complicated concept to a lay audience. The concept might be obvious to you, but by snickering and giggling you don’t make it obvious you’re an expert; it’s only obvious that you’re a fuckwad.
Overheard at the Office
“It wasn’t the poster falling off the wall that made me yell, it was the tack flying at my face!!!”
December 2012
6 posts
We need a word for...
The moment you and a colleague silently and simultaneously decide you’re done making small talk and turn back to your computers to resume working.
Thought for the Day
Shouldn’t the definition of “remove” be “to move again”?
We need a word for...
Those pre-formatted PowerPoint or Word templates that are beautiful when blank… and a complete clusterfuck when you start adding content to it.
Overheard at the Office
“This is a nonsense office. There is nonsense here.” (Later realized it was “no-scents” office.)
November 2012
3 posts
We need a word for...
That rush of excitement and anticipation when you open a new book and start reading that first page.
Overheard at the Office
“There are advantages to being invisible.”
We need a word for...
That situation where you feel fine but the person you are talking to says they have a cold and suddenly your throat feels scratchy.
October 2012
4 posts
Thought for the Day
“Mispell” is the most ironic word ever.
We need a word for...
The time spent waiting for that first comment or Like on something you posted to Facebook.
Overheard on the Street
“Because my professionalism sets me apart. It’s my fucking professionalism that matters.”
We need a word for...
When you think you have a booger hanging out of your nose, but are having a conversation with a work colleague and aren’t sure how to check to see if it is there.
September 2012
4 posts
We need a word for...
That “oh shit” feeling when reading the finally-printed publication that’s beautifully laid out, been through several edits and revisions, undergone rounds of proofreading… and you find a typo.
Overheard at the Office
Says the 30-year old: “My generation was the first, as teenagers, to get interested in computer programming.” The 45-year old, overhearing this, quietly says: “Bullshit.”
What do you call it when...
You get an email saying there is an attached document, but nothing is attached. #nottachment
Overheard on the Bus
“I wish they made face tampons.”
August 2012
3 posts
Thought for the Day
Is the word “ridonkulous” in and of itself ridonkulous?
Wisdom for the Day
Dream big… but plan in small, achievable steps.
Thought for the Day
Does anyone else find the definition for “verbose” is too wordy?
July 2012
3 posts
Overheard at the Office
“I play softball and dodgeball. I also love golf.” “So you love playing with balls?”
Overheard on the Bike Paths
“I know that he loves me. But I want him to *adore* me.” (Hat tip to Hayden.)
Overheard at the Office
“I AM the kind of person to say ‘I’m not the kind of person to say “I told you so”’.”
June 2012
3 posts
1 tag
Overheard on the Bus
Young Woman: “Don’t pay for art. If you can download it, don’t pay.” Young Man: “I’ll pay if the artist’s alive. Like Pink Floyd. They’re all dead. Or if they’re alive, they’re too old to remember what money is.”
Overheard at the Office
“I was at the dog park and saw one of those hunting birds.” “Falcon?” “No, the other kind.” “Hawk?” “No.” “Eagle?” “No, the kind that eats dead things.” “Racoon?” “A *bird*!” “Vulture?” “Yes.”
May 2012
8 posts
Overheard at the Office
“She’s acting like a baby… We couldn’t make it to her surprise birthday party, so she unfriended us all on Facebook… 46… 46 years old… Yeah, she needs to grow up.”
Overheard at the Corner Deli
“Look, a fruit bar.” “We call it a ‘salad bar’ in English.” “Then what is a ‘fruit bar’? A bar full of fruits?” “We… it’s just called a ‘salad bar’.”
#SixSeasonsAndAMovie
Yup, I love Community.
Thought for the Day
We’d love for victory to be someone seeing they were wrong. But sometimes victory is walking away and leaving them to their arrogance.
Overheard at the Office
“I have all the boobs you could want in my boobs cabinet .” (Later realized it was “…booze you could want in my booze cabinet.”
Seen in an All-Staff Email
“These two manuals will be produced at our field office and wildly distributed to the districts.” Do they have chimps, emus and warthogs handing out manuals?
Wisdom for the Day
During a PowerPoint presentation when you reach a slide with 10 bullet points, don’t say “I’ll be quick” before launching into a 10-minute digression on the first point.
Overheard in a Meeting
“Uhh… what are you doing?” “I’m snarling with my lips closed.”
April 2012
6 posts
Thought for the Day
It’s A-OK to put your massive shoulder bag down in front of the coffee station, blocking other people from getting cream and sugar, while you chit-chat. #LegalToTaser #Clueless
