December 2010
16 posts
1 tag
Overheard at the Office
“I keep my BlackBerry on the left so I can cross-draw like a phaser.”
1 tag
Thought for the Day
If “Take Your Child to Work Day” falls on the 24th of December and one of the children keeps referring to an older and stout male employee as “Santa” and “The Big Guy,” could it be considered workplace harassment?
Wisdom for the Day
Spitting on the sidewalk is a filthy, disgusting habit.
Spitting on the sidewalk while riding your scooter on a windy day when the sidewalk is full of people walking to work might get your ass kicked.
1 tag
Overheard (in the Elevator Lobby) at the Office
“Merry Christmas!” “Oh! Merry Christmas to you!” [Hugs] “Love you so much.” “Me, too. Such a tough year.” “Yeah. Can you get me that docket before the end of the day?” “I don’t know. It’ll be tight.” “Yeah, well, I better have it by 4.”
2 tags
Wisdom for the Day
“Life gives you lemons? You blow those lemons to bits with your laser cannons!” (from The Brak Show)
1 tag
Wisdom for the Day
It’s not cutting if I’ve been waiting behind you in line for 30 seconds while you’re digging through your purse and I just happen to have exact change to pass to the register jockey.
Wisdom for the Day
Your lap is the appropriate place for your backpack, suitcase or purse when seated on the bus. Not the seat next to you, nor halfway onto the lap of the person next to you.
Wisdom for the Day
It’s call a “panini press.” Not a:
* Panini smash * Panini crush * Panini slam * Panini lean all your weight on it
2 tags
Wisdom for the (Snowy) Day
Just because you drive a Hummer doesn’t mean you have to take that corner so fast— SHIT! LOOK OUT!!! … No, I’m not going to help push that dumb-ass out of the snow bank.
1 tag
Overheard on the Street
“So we’re in her performance review and I’m like ‘So what the fuck is your problem?’ and she’s all ‘I feel like you don’t give me enough feedback and direction.’ and I’m like ‘What are you fucking retarded?’”
Overheard on the Street
“Why are you always so surprised that coffee is hot!?!?!?”
Thought for the Day
Asking if you should “re-send it again” is redundantly saying the same thing over again repetitiously.
Overheard at (the small deli near) the Office
“How much for an extra jelly?”
“25 cents.”
“How about two?”
“50 cents.”
“Do I get a discount if I buy a lot?”
“How many do you want?”
“I like a lot of jelly.”
“How ‘bout 4 for a buck?”
“OK.”
1 tag
Overheard on the Street
“His work is incomparable. He’s like [name of a musician I’ve never heard of] or [another musician I have never heard of.]”
1 tag
Overheard at the Drug Store
“Can I get a raincheck for six of these?”
“We only allow four items per raincheck.”
“Then give me two rainchecks.”
“We only allow four items per raincheck, one raincheck per customer.”
“But I want six.”
“We only allow four items per raincheck, one raincheck per customer.”
“What if I take four, and like, leave, and...
Overheard (by the elevators) at the Office
Woman with a coffee in-hand, blocking the elevator doors: “I don’t want to get on ‘cause the doors will close on me. They will. They will. They’re going to.” And then the elevators doors close in front of her.
