Wisdom for the Day

Overheard at the Office

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 10:00:20 -0400

“Responsiblize”. (Yup, that’s all I’m gonna say.)

Overheard on the Bus

Fri, 07 Jun 2013 11:00:25 -0400

“With my education, few people understand English grammar better than I.”

Overheard at the Office

Fri, 31 May 2013 11:30:15 -0400

“Poor you. I hear your pain.” “And I smell your mixed metaphor.”

Reba McEntire’s a drug mule? Hard times in Nashville or...

Thu, 30 May 2013 20:10:19 -0400

Reba McEntire’s a drug mule? Hard times in Nashville or what?

Overheard at the Office

Fri, 17 May 2013 10:00:36 -0400

“So I talked to the labia— I mean I talked to the labia— I mean I talked to the LADY at the office…”

We need a word for...

Fri, 10 May 2013 10:00:38 -0400

That moment of panic when something shoots up your esophagus and you don’t know if it’s a burp or barf.

Overheard on the Bus

Fri, 03 May 2013 10:00:19 -0400

“In the dictionary under ‘inscrutable’ is a picture that may or may not be you. No one can tell.”

Thought for the Day

Fri, 08 Mar 2013 04:00:15 -0500

Why isn’t there a toilet manufacturer whose slogan is “#$&@ Happens. Buy a _________”?

We need a word for...

Fri, 01 Mar 2013 06:00:31 -0500

That feeling of being halfway through a book, which your friends and critics loved, and wondering when it will become good.

I'm am SO on board with COMMUNITY 2.0

Wed, 27 Feb 2013 07:17:22 -0500

danharmon:

okolivertrask:

Dan Harmon isn’t around to say stupid shit regularly and make me hate the show in different ways I hadn’t even imagined before

It’s not quality quality like COMMUNITY season 1 and 2, but it’s also not a sanctimonious self-indulgent mess like season 3.

It is just a fun cartoon-version of a once great show.

It’s like really good fanfiction. And I know that sounds like an insult but It is delightful.

Cha-ching!

Overheard on the Street

Fri, 22 Feb 2013 06:00:28 -0500

“He doesn’t use his car when it snows.” Really?” “He takes his motorcycle.” “Why?!” “It has snowtires.”

Overheard at the Office

Fri, 15 Feb 2013 06:00:17 -0500

“Marriage is such an anchor in life.” “Heavy, awkward, covered in rust, takes you to the ocean floor to be entangled with rocks and the only way out is a high-powered winch?”

Overheard in Subway

Fri, 08 Feb 2013 07:30:00 -0500

“What kind of cheese do you want?”

“Mozzarella, please.”

“Is that the orange, yellow or really yellow?”

“It’s the mozzarella.”

“…”

“You work here, right?”

“But what colour is it?”

We need a word for...

Fri, 01 Feb 2013 06:00:13 -0500

Able-bodied people who, instead of just pushing open a door, hit the wheelchair button and wait for it to open on its own.

Wisdom for the Day

Fri, 25 Jan 2013 06:00:41 -0500

It’s “run the gamut”. “Run the gambit” means you are combining chess with jogging.

Overheard in the Elevator

Fri, 18 Jan 2013 11:00:29 -0500

“She said we should get together for drinks, but I couldn’t. So she invited me for pre-drinks. WHAT THE HELL ARE ‘PRE-DRINKS’?”

Wisdom for the Day

Fri, 11 Jan 2013 11:00:14 -0500

If you’re a subject matter expert, don’t snicker and giggle when the presenter uses a metaphor that isn’t 100% accurate to explain a complicated concept to a lay audience. The concept might be obvious to you, but by snickering and giggling you don’t make it obvious you’re an expert; it’s only obvious that you’re a fuckwad.

Karma demands some people have their legs broken…...

Mon, 07 Jan 2013 13:25:08 -0500

Karma demands some people have their legs broken… repeatedly.

Overheard at the Office

Fri, 04 Jan 2013 11:00:27 -0500

“It wasn’t the poster falling off the wall that made me yell, it was the tack flying at my face!!!”

We need a word for...

Fri, 28 Dec 2012 06:00:17 -0500

The moment you and a colleague silently and simultaneously decide you’re done making small talk and turn back to your computers to resume working.